lostdwarf’s blog

Do you believe that honesty is the best policy?

I always find that people who think to quote that, believe that honesty = mean spiritedness. Being honest means being true to what you believe and to treat everyone like an adult. However, being honest doesn't mean that you need to tell that stark white, bitchy black and white "truth".

Most of the time, that's not even the "truth," just the mean side of truth.

And I'm rambling but not making sense. It's 5 am and I'm just finishing my shift. You'll probably be hearing from me a lot during these times of the night. Expect less and less sense.

If you're not sure what the HST is, then lucky you. It means you're not currently or soon to be charged it (thanks to Peter Bobberly, whoever you are!):

 

::cough:: I started this and when I finished, it was freaking long. This is a warning; you might want to settle in for a little bit.

 

Do you mind if I rant just a little bit? But first, some history:

 

I work for this company, this big box electronics company and I’m part of the employee wellness/complaints committee. Basically, if you’re having problems, you come to me or any of my compatriots (I don’t know why but I love “compatriots”; it feels like we’re forming a revolution), you tell us the problem you’re having and then we help you deal with it.

 

I was volun-told that I was joining this committee in February or March. Oddly enough, the committee has become one of my favourite things about working for this company. I actually feel like we’re helping some people by bringing things to management’s attention and making sure they’re dealing with this in some way. It’s weird and quite cool that they listen to us.

 

ANYWAY, part of this committee is also directing donations from the store. For our new general manager, he had two requests for donations. He wants:

 

1. Money or products to go to the local hospital, directed to children.
2. Money to go to a local children’s sports team.

 

That was the job parceled out by the committee chair to me, her co-chair.

 

Hee hee, “co-chair.” I sound like comfy furniture. Sorry, digression.

 

The first part was surprisingly easy. I didn’t realize our local hospital had a children’s wing; I thought all the children were directed to the more specialized children’s hospital about 30 minutes away. I emailed them for a list, they emailed me back the same way with a detailed list that made my job (for that section, at least) super easy.

 

Lovely! I like easy.

 

… I have a joke I could make but it’s probably inappropriate considering what I’m writing about right now. ::sigh:: I’m getting appropriate in my old age.

 

The second request? Yeah, that one’s a little more involved.

 

First, I emailed my other job’s office mates to see if they had children in a local sports team that was desperately looking for sponsors. SCORE! Yes, this woman I work with, her daughter is part of a girls’ under 15 softball team. The team is fairly new, they need money for uniforms, equipment and traveling (to tournaments) plus they would be willing to put their picture up in our store and display our logo whenever they play.

 

They also desperately need funding because it’s hard for girls’ sports teams to find donors willing to help them out. Boys’ teams tend to be a little more established with a better, consistent donor base.

 

I thought my worries were through! They’re perfect!

 

Would I be writing this if everything was perfect? Come on.

 

Oh, there’s nothing wrong with the girls’ team. They are perfect. They’ll look cute on our wall, they’re local and they came in fourth in the province this year in their age bracket.

 

Hook yourself to a star, that’s what I always say. Okay, no, I never say that because it sounds stupid and I’m not a Depression-era shyster.

 

But.

 

Did you know the funding for sports has been cut for elementary schools throughout my province? Did you know there are schools, considered “core” schools, in a lower income area that are having problems providing enough equipment for children to play sports? Do you wonder why the federal government keeps offering tax initiatives to families to enroll their children in to sports teams when all they have to do to effect actual change is to fund schools better?

 

My library has been told to expect funding cuts. I’m not completely sure what that means. How are libraries facing funding cuts? Why isn’t their service essential to the government? The purpose of the library is to encourage people (especially children) to READ. We don’t want children reading? Okay, maybe they’ll stop providing movies and music in order to keep providing books.

 

You know, head back into the days before recorded information. Because why would we want our institutions to stay up-to-date when we could just create a strategy where they’ll fail?

 

And ambulances. You would think they would be considered an essential service and the province would guarantee that a contract would be in place before a previous union contract ends. You would think.

 

However, rather than sit at the table LIKE ADULTS and hammer out the issues and try to figure out how to do what’s best for the PROVINCE (you know, the idiots that voted them in?), they’re too busy preening and posturing and forcing men and women who work in a very stressful situation, life and death situations, to work overtime, to work on their days off. Where is the recovery time? Where’s the emotional recharge time? How many days in a row do you think someone in this situation can work before they are entirely burned out? Why are you willing to lose experience and compassionate ambulance attendants? Why aren’t you willing to create more full-time positions so that there is adequate recovery time between shift blocks? Does someone need to die because an attendant gets punchy from working too many hours and too many days without a break before they’re willing to think of the province before they think of their own wallets?

 

How is it that all this can go on but they’ll still justify a large (say 55%) pay raise for the Premier and his staff?

 

Do I believe they should be paid a decent wage for the job they do? Of course I do. I believe government officials should be paid as though they are CEOs because unless we’re willing to pay them better, we’re stuck with lame ducks who either can’t cut it in the real business world or who’ll sit on their butts, doing the bare minimum.

 

But justify TO ME why you think you deserve that large a raise when, typically, most people earn a 1%, 2%, 3% raise yearly? Justify to me why you deserve that kind of a raise when so many people in my province are jobless? What kind of job do you believe you are doing that this large a raise is justified?

 

How DARE you? How dare you cut money from the children of our province while lining your own wallets with OUR MONEY? How dare you ask us for more money while patting us on our heads, telling us that it’s for our own good? How dare you treat us like we’re slow-witted children, spinning us a line of bullshit so rank that it smells up our communities?

 

Justify to me why this is okay, why the HST is a god-send, why you deserve to sit at the head of our provincial government for any longer. Tell me why we have no money for children but we have money to pay for your haircuts.

 

Tell us why you’re not advocating for the people in the province. Tell us all.

Dudes, I had a freaking migraine today. This (and two Tylenol) made me feel better:

 

 

To do yourself (hahahahaaaa!), go here.

It pains me to say this but the album's is… meh.

 

::sigh:: I'm so sorry to say it, probably more than you know.

 

Is it because her vocals suck? Absolutely not. Her voice, as always, is amazing. But these songs don't show her range and her ability to feel. It definitely doesn't show her ability to suck you in to her emotions as she sings.

 

If you've never heard Jann Arden, well, first, you're probably not Canadian. She's a national treasure in the same vein that Anne Murray is a national treasure: something Canadians can laud and not feel ashamed of liking, unlike ::ahem:: a few others.

 

 

 

And I'm not talking Celine. She's made of awesome. And no, I'm not kidding. Sorry, weird tangent.

 

If you've never heard Jann Arden, this isn't a bad album for you to start with. But you definitely need to at least listen to her Greatest Hurts album then go back from the start and listen to all her entire discography.

 

The problem for me is that I've listened to her for years. I know she can do more. She made Insensitive.

 

 

 

She made Could I Be Your Girl. (Ignore the video, listen to the music)

 

 

 

 

Dammit, she made Good Mother, a song that makes me want to weep every. single. time. (Ignore the video for this one too. Her actual videos don't allow embeding)

 

 

 

She's made some of the most heart wrenching music in the world. She's amazing and this album is beneath her normal level of amazingness. This is a woman who can play with a freaking ORCHESTRA backing her and not be taken down by their sheer numbers.

 

And she sings You're So Vain? Really? One of the worst songs EVER?! And now I've just pissed off a ton of Carly Simon fans. Great.

 

Could it be that I was expecting something different from this album than what I got? Yes, it's completely possible. Is it possible that if I listened to it 10 more times I would love pretty much every song? Yes, absolutely.

 

Except for You're So Vain. I've hated that song for decades.

 

Time for my recommendation: Give it a listen, especially if you're not familiar with Jann Arden. But then listen to her Greatest Hurts cd. At the very least, you'll be familiar with her most popular songs. She's so much more than this album made her and I hope you get to see that.

Or as I like to call it:

Eat Fiber! Or your colon could generate pustules that, if popped and enter your bloodstream, CAN KILL YOU. Seriously, can you imagine someone telling your family that you died of ASS PUS?

or

Did you know you could get neck and throat tumors from BLOW JOBS?! Everyone, get the HPV vaccine. Damn.

She does a very good job linking the advice from your doctor ("Eat more fiber! Don't drink so much! Stop smoking!) with the real life consequences of these actions. There are some points where it feels like she's reaching (the section on accidents come to mind since even she admits that there isn't a way to prevent accidents) but otherwise, it is a fun and fairly informative read.

She tends to be a little too "me me me" focused (I'm fairly certain we don't need to relate everything to her family) and I find her recommendation of fat-reducing pills to be a little on the unwise side (look at me! I'm being polite!). She also seems hellbent on proving that she is more compassionate and more dedicated to her work than others.

Of course, it's not a huge detriment to the book until nearer the end when I felt the need to roll my eyes while I was reading. That may have been when I started reading the "FAT WILL KILL YOU" section. Considering she outlined with the chapters previous how regular, "fit" people can still die from heart disease and whatnot, linking fatness only to the risk of heart disease is... well, I'm going to guess she's never heard of "Healthy At Every Size" which is unfortunate for those around her and those reading her book.

Overall though, I highly recommend this. It gives you a good outline how your lifestyle could be stealing years from you. And seriously, how would you like your family knowing you died of ass pus?

Why must you plague me with women who watch their weight AND food? Who are SO vocal about calories and whatnot? You're putting me off my food! And I know, you're looking pointedly at the size of my butt. Well, you can shut it, GOD, my butt is FINE. It's round, it's bodacious and it's ... okay, so in that one dress, it looked like something you would put tchochkes on.

But Beyonce wore a dress that gave her square hips one time so, once again, you can shut it. Plus? The sweater top made me look hot so yeah, I'm going back to buy the sweater when it comes in ::sticks out tongue::

And put down that lightning bolt. I'm not calling you names; I'm just calling you OUT. If you didn't want me to eat, you shouldn't have made food so delicious. Really? I'm supposed to turn down chocolate cake? Really?! Or, wait, did you want me to eat the cake but only have a slice so thin, no one could tell a piece was taken?

Whatever. It's chocolate cake; give me a normal sized piece. I'd like to enjoy it with some coffee. WITH MILK.

All right, fine, I might give up milk. But only because I think it's causing my weird skin condition.

But seriously, what's wrong with you? What's up with making women who are always so worried and unhappy with how they look that they aren't able to acknowledge how GOOD they actually do look? Where's the self-esteem jar, God? Did you forget to give us some? What about the self-worth one? Are you skimping on that one with women too? Or are you just starting to forget to include that one in for everyone? Cause I've noticed some people sadly lacking in both and it's starting to piss me off.

And please, can you make celebutards go away? I don't think they're helping us any.

Amen.

Eh, you're afraid to be rude because you're a nice person. That's not a problem with me and my black soul. It's like blacked cajun chicken: black and spicy.

... no seriously, where the hell does this come from?

[Please note, I think I'm PMS-ing right now so this review is a little more emotional and a little more disjointed than my normal reviews (HA!). It's still awesome :) ]

I've just recently discovered Suzanne Brockmann, though she's been published for a few years, thanks to Amazon.ca and my own dogged determination.

... what? You thought you'd get through a review without self-aggrandizment? Silly rabbit, self-effacement is for kids!

The first book of her's that I read was Ladies' Man:

 

Luckily for me, I read another book by her.

Yes, this one sucked that bad, at least in my opinion.

... you want a fuller review? Fine. It was full of the stupid romcom nonsense I abhor. There was great chemistry between the lead characters but otherwise, it was a waste of the couple of hours it took to read.

Thankfully, I read the other book I had on hold at the library, Force of Nature.

Damn.

 

DAMN.

 

DAMN.

 

Wow.

Technically, Force of Nature was the tenth? eleventh maybe? book in the Troubleshooters series. But wow, what a great way to be introduced to them. Truthfully, I'm a little hazy on the whole storyline (sorry, it was a little while ago and I've read at least 5 books since then) but it... How do I say this?

She creates characters that aren't normal.

She creates characters that are like those we would meet in real life. Asian people, Black people (can I say black people? Is that racist? I haven't figured that one out yet and yes, I'm serious) and... GAY people.

Dudes, you don't know how long I've waited to see a mainstream gay person in a romance novel where it's not treated as a disease or as a throwaway joke. Hell, it would be nice to see a Chinese person in a novel who doesn't speak in a weird, stilted manner who also has a black belt as a hobby but whatever, baby steps.

But Jules. Dear lord, this woman created Jules Cassidy, FBI agent extraordinaire and openly gay, then throws him the perfect man who is so fucked up from trying to stay in the closet that he looks like the worst mistake ever.

The best part?

 

SPOILER:

 

They get married in All Through the Night, her Christmas novella that follows up on their relationship, in Boston, her hometown, in celebration of the fact that Massachusetts, at the time and hopefully still, made gay marriage legal.

(FYI, I hate that we refer to it as gay marriage. It's just fucking MARRIAGE, people. Grow the hell up.)

Dudes. She made a mainstream gay PERSON, not a caricature, not a martyr, not some crazed stereotype that makes being gay this weird thing but a fully breathing person, someone I would love to be friends with, especially since he'd actually kick the ass of anyone who'd cheat on me.

She's created this world that reflects the one I actually live in: with people of colour, occasionally intermarrying with those who ... aren't? I guess? Though pinky flesh would be a colour, I think. I mean, Crayola would call it a colour, right?

 

Sorry, I know, weird digression. I've always wondered about the "people of colour" thing. I mean, I've met Chinese people who are whiter than white people. And what's up with the yellow skin thing when it comes to Chinese people? I'm very confused.

 

ANYWAY, she's created a world that I want to live in, one where love shouldn't have to hide in the shadows, one where people can fight and argue and not break up to create "romantic tension" (this is one of the cliches of romances I absolutely loathe) but instead actually talk things out to, maybe not solve everything, but to put everything out there between partners, so that there aren't any secrets or tension from secrets.

 

Have I convinced you yet? Will you give her a try? Hell, if you're not sure about starting from the beginning, let me assure you, I don't believe you have to. Start with Forces of Nature then go to All Through the Night and if you're not crying when you read her epilogue of how and why she created these characters, you and I need to have a come to Jesus talk.

You do not want a come to Jesus talk with me. I curse. A lot.

Now, this is the only way I can end this: I'm not gay and it shouldn't matter. I'm Chinese and it shouldn't matter. Mixed marriages weren't allowed until mid-1900s; are we really going to let this persecution continue to another group of people? Why does who you love matter more than that you love them?

And if you say, "The Bible," believe me, I will beat you with mine. Some of you are why I no longer go to church.

Seriously, give her a read then come back and tell me how right I am.

Show us a book you feel like you should read, but just can't bring yourself to actually pick up.

Oooh, interesting question. I should come on Vox more often.

 

Which reminds me, sorry I haven't been on even really to comment. My new work place (yay!) has most places blocked and for a little while there, my laptop charger wasn't working properly but I have a new one now!

 

Now back to books. I'm not really sure what book I feel as though I should be embarassed I haven't read.

It's definitely not Twilight. Just reading the synopsis of each book makes me feel like killing everyone involved in publishing the book.

I am a little surprised I haven't read all of the Sandman books but I'm saving up for the new volumes.

I'm not really into ponderous, "culturally significant" books because they're typically boring. Sorry.

I've never finished any James Joyce but I've been told that's probably not my fault.

I've never actually read the Bible from beginning to end. I get lost in the "Blah begat Blah, then Blah begat Blah, blah blah blah men having sex and releasing progeny on to the world" boringness; though there are supposed to be quite a few good stories about women who step out of "their place" and protect others from persecution. Those are always fun. I really like the one about the woman who nails this guy's head into the ground. That's awesome and ballsy.

I wish I read more How To books, things that help me know more about other things. I probably should read more Canadian history. It's actually quite interesting, though relatively bloodless through many of the years (my favourite story about that one is where Canadians ran across the border, set the White House on fire and then ran back to Canada. It may have been a lot more complicated than that but I like to think some guys got drunk, said, "Damn those Americans for whatever," gathered a bunch of their friends and somehow snuck across the border with gasoline and matches.

Hee hee! I also imagine they're wearing flannel and wearing hats. I don't know why.

I should probably read the actual, historical account, see how close my imagination is :)

Other than that, I'm not sure. What do you guys think? Anything I should read? Please note, I will ignore you if I've tried reading a particular author and have found them not my cup of tea or if the genre/storyline isn't something that interests me. I lean towards the suspense/mystery genre, with or without romance but I'm willing to branch out a little.