15 posts tagged “bus”

Seriously tired of all people but especially:

• Faculty members who seem to believe that they shit gold and should have all of us administrative peons catering to their every little stupid thing. Dude, you want to be called doctor? MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET US KNOW. We can't read minds and even if I could, I wouldn't want to read your's. Perv.

• Graduating students who can't figure out that when something is called a "deadline" that means that you need to have something completed by that time. Why don't they know this if, ostensibly, they've gone through 4 years of post-secondary schooling, taking many courses that would, more than likely, have assignments that have these so-called "deadlines."

• People who can't figure out that I can't make an exception. No, not even for you. Or you. You're just not that special, I don't want to sleep with you and you can't offer me anything interesting enough for me to even consider breaking the rules. And stop telling me about the fucking people coming from out of town. I'm not sure how I can express more fully how I DON'T CARE except to say I don't care and that your relatives are your fucking problem.

• Bus drivers who don't know that the left pedal in a bus means you can slow down instead of narrowly hitting the car in front of you who has the audacity to want to turn right and instead of swerving into the next lane so that you narrowly hit the car that was just doo-de-dooing along, minding its own business.

All of you people suck and you need to stop sharing my air space.

There was a baby screaming on the bus on the way home.

I could feel my ovaries try to leave my body.

So this is what I do when I'm on the bus ride home: compose posts in my head and think about strange things:

1. When did people stop putting their hands in front of their mouths when they yawn?

Maybe it's just me but I'd prefer NOT to blow my fetid breath at someone else. Perhaps that's an oddity of mine.

2. Why, if you see an old person on the bus who's standing, would you not get up and offer them a seat?

I mean, I understand that in our society we don't have much respect for our aged, battle aging with every fibre of our being and are one step away from setting people over 65 on ice floes in a age cleansing ritual but really? You can't give them a seat? You're so young, I'm sure you could sleep standing up.

And by the way, you'd be less tired if you were taking a less early bus so perhaps you can leave my bus schedule alone.

Maybe you could even read standing up. I know I used to walk around reading so standing should be a piece of cake!

3. Why are kids taking the bus to post-secondary school at 6:30 am?

Really? Why? When I was in my first year, I would be just opening an eyelid at this time. I mean, I hated school and everything but I still got to school on time and I lived way on the other side of the city from the bridge.

Actually, looking back on the whole thing, I would have made my schedule later in the day unless I had to be in at an earlier time. My day would have been much more relaxing and I probably could have gotten more out of my classes. Ah well, the folly of youth.

I'm posting in the morning! Look at me!

So, I'm at work right now and it's not even 8 am. Why am I at work this early? Because I take the bus.

... what? You need more explanation? All righty:

I work at a University and instead of driving my car (and incurring gas and parking expenses) I started taking the bus in January. My bus experience has been fine, mostly. But this week.

This week.

This week is the first week of school. Yesterday, I got up earlier than I normally do to wait for a bus. TWO of my regular buses passed me by. I finally got on a different bus that I need to transfer with.

Wait, that doesn't actually make sense. Let's try it again. I took a bus that doesn't take me directly to where I'm going, so I have to get off and transfer.

Lovely. I'm writing in full sentences again.

Yesterday, I thought, "Well, I'm going to be super smart and take an even EARLIER bus." The 6:55 bus. That gets me to work by 7:30. Where I start work at 8:30.

::sigh::

So, I'm trying to figure out how to make the best use of my time. I think I'm actually going to start my exercise routine again. With the extra walking (at least extra from before), I've found my body shrinking in various areas which is kind of nice. I'm hoping with even more walking, my tummy will stop looking like I'm housing a fetus.

Hopefully this also means you'll see me in here more often because I've missed all you guys so much! I'm way behind on my reading, though I did get caught up on with a few of you on Monday but it just doesn't feel like it's enough!

Love you all!

I know, surprise, surprise, I forgot some things with my last bus etiquette post. Here we go:

1. Make sure your music isn't turned up so loud that it disturbs other people (thanks for reminding me, Wendy!)

I don't typically think of this one because I'm one of those people with the earbuds constantly in my ears but if your music is on so loud that other people can hear it, well a) that's probably not good for your ears and b) ... okay, so I really only have an a). Oh, wait, right, b) it disturbs other people. They'd like to pretend you're not there either so if you're listening to music while thrashing about and banging your head or whatnot, it's a little more difficult.

2. If you're not elderly and/or disabled and/or pregnant and you're sitting in the front seats designated FOR the elderly, disabled or pregnant, there is no looking around to see who might get up before you do.

It's "get your butt off the seat, you bastard and let that person sit down before I reach over there and whack you." And stop pretending you're asleep. You're 18 years old; you can stand and sleep.

3. If you can't sleep still, maybe you shouldn't sleep on the bus.

Seriously, I'm trying to pretend you're not there but it's hard to do when you're leaning your head on my shoulder and bumping me. Sure it gives me a few moments of hilarity watching you while you're bobbing and weaving around like you're having a petit mal seizure but that's all offset by the fact that you're touching me and a) we're not friends or b) you don't have poetry pants.

Today, I sat near 2 of the bobbers and weavers, one right next to me and one in front of me. I saw the one in front almost smoke herself on the window edge... twice. Actually, I think she actually did whack herself on the head once and she just went right back to sleep. The one beside me? Almost fell in the aisle because she was nodding off and jerking herself upright again but did it while the bus was turning. A couple times, it almost looked like she wanted to become a little more familiar with me (I was thinking about making this ruder but I decided not to) or would smoke herself on either the seat in front or behind her.

I think I almost gave her a heart attack when I shook her shoulder lightly so I could get out.

Actually, funny story: I typically do a few road trips a year and one trip I went with 3 other friends. My friend's husband was driving and I was in the front passenger seat, just minding my own business when my friend called my name. I look behind me and my other friend was sleeping but his torso looked like it was levitating or like when those people do those tilting tricks and you think, "Damn, how did he do that?" Well, if he hadn't been wearing his seatbelt, dude would have been in my friend's lap. I think we had to jerk the seatbelt so that it locked itself so he wouldn't move like that anymore.

Ahhh, good times.

Haven't done one of these in a while.

Strange woman on my normal bus: In the beginning, she'll sit with her backpack beside her (which... douchey. Stop doing that.), then when people start coming on the bus and she needs to move her backpack, she'll move it to where she was sitting then she'll stand and read her book. She... keeps the seat for her backpack. And she's near the front of the bus where there are holding areas for her to put her backpack if she doesn't want to hold it in her lap.

Someone needs to explain this to me because whenever I see her do this, all I can think is, "Weeeeeirdo!"

Jackass guy who walks like he's carrying beach balls in his pants that are made of gold. Little boy, you are SO not gangster and unless you've hurt your leg, that "strut" you seem to be nursing, just looks like you're limping.

Road rage bus driver who's bus I was freaking on. Sir, I don't know if you fully understand your job but as a bus driver, you're kind of supposed to stop at your designated bus stops. I know, it's a strange concept but oddly enough, it's part of your job.

And while we're at it, maybe you want to slow down a little bit. I don't think it's necessary to tailgate that little car like you're doing. And maybe stop trying to run down pedestrians. People are joking when they tell you you get points.

So, if you're a long-time reader of my blog, you'll know that I started taking the bus to work in January. This was mostly necessary to save some money and also, my car is really old and I'm kind of afraid I'll get stranded in Vancouver for a long while because my car died (almost died on Sunday, freaked the crap out of me).

Anyway, during my bus time, I've compiled a bunch of things that you should do in order to make it a more pleasant trip (excepting the road-rage bus driver):

1. Please pretend I'm not here. Seriously. I'm doing my best to pretend YOU'RE not here and in order to do so, you need to stop poking me with your bony elbows. I'm willing to suspend my dream world of being alone in order to let you into the aisle but other than that, I don't really want to talk to you. Stop poking me.
2. Please shower. Please. Seriously. Please shower. Gross.
3. And for those who don't shower, please don't use perfume/cologne/eau de toilette in lieu of a shower. Really, I don't need that scent memory. I already lived through the grunge era of b.o. and Calvin Klein, I don't need to relive it with you.
4. And you. Yes, you with your bookbag on the seat next to you. Take your bag and put it in your lap. Since this is in fact public transportation, there will be someone who will want to sit there eventually. If you want to be able to stretch out, get yourself a car and driver. Stop being a douche.
5. When someone beside you needs to get up and head to the aisle, get off your butt and give them room. Not all of us are size 0s; we kind of need some more room so we're not shoving our asses in your face. You like ass in the face then keep sitting; otherwise, move your skinny butt.
6. If you sneeze, please cover your face. Same with coughing. We don't need your germs, we have our own. Thanks.
7. Sometimes the driver is an ass. I know this; I've lived this and I fear my death. You still might want to say thank you when you leave. I don't always because the woman who drives the bus on my way home has almost killed me 5 times. At a certain point, you stop thanking someone for that.

So, I was going to post this yesterday but I think it was a smarter move to wait until I'd cooled off a little before writing this. Otherwise it would have sounded like this:

BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH ANGRYBLAH ANGRY BLAH ::SHAKES FIST AT THE HEAVENS:: WWHHHHHHYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!

Yeah.

This is just a thought I had in my head while I rode on a bus, sitting beside this ... person, who kept jamming my admittedly cushy side with his VERY BONY elbow. All I could think was, "If I had magical powers, you would be SO bleeding from your nose this entire freaking ride."

Yes, that is what I would do with magic powers: give random strangers bleeding noses and cold sores if they pissed me off. I think we should all be thankful we're not living in a Harry Potter world right now.

This morning was the weirdest bus ride. I mean, the bus driver... was FRIENDLY! He said good morning to everyone who got on the bus. He announced every stop about a minute or so before we actually got to one so that if you're new to the whole bussing thing, you would know where you're supposed to get off. THEN! Then, he said, "Bye, have a calm Wednesday! Have yourself a stress-free day!"

AND HE MEANT IT!

This was the most cheerful person I'd ever met, doing one of the most thankless jobs EVER and the strangest part? I didn't hate him.

I KNOW! I'm kind of surprised too!

I normally don't really like perky people, mostlly because I find them draining to be around, like they hoover your energy to get on with their perky, perky day.

But I left the bus with a smile on my face.

Weird. I'm going to blame PMS.

I'd stopped doing these because I wasn't sure they were interesting but someone mentioned that they liked them so I'll try to do one whenever I find something interesting to talk about.

Right now, taking the bus is a glorious, glorious thing. Very few students (it's exam time) so seat space is at a maximum and I can take a quick nap. Today, I was seated on one of the side seats (they face the side windows) and this guy sat down beside me.

His cologned smelled really nice and I kept getting this urge to put my head on his shoulder. I couldn't figure it out until it hit me: it's the same cologne (or close enough to it) that this boy I was madly in love with when I was 16 but then figured out he was gay a few years later who I haven't spoken to for almost a decade wore.

Yes, that's his whole name.

It was crazy; this guy even wore his hair in almost the same way.

Just the scent though, it threw me back to being 16 and I wanted to snog this guy so badly, just to fulfil some adolescent missed opportunity. Then he yawned without covering his mouth and the magic was gone.

This really was a no pants kinda day, wasn't it.